WHY DIDNíT I KNOW THIS is a phrase we hear often in our health care practices. 

No one encourages you to have casual sex; that is your personal decision. We do hope to offer you knowledge that enables you can make wise decisions.

Talking about sex is sometimes one of the more difficult problems we face.  However, silence is not golden. It  can be deadly, and at the least, cause emotional pain. 

        Ask about his/her sexual history.

        Ask about their concept of sexual history.

        Tell your partner that asking these questions is difficult, but necessary. 

        Offer information and invite your partner to ask you questions.  

        Make it clear that you are not judgmental or critical.  

        Explain your concerns. 

        If your thinking, ďI canít talk about all this stuff with my partner,Ē then you are not ready to begin a sexual relationship. Wait until you are more mature. 

        Using your sexuality to feel better about yourself sets you up for emotional pain. It only works for a short time. Examine your reasons for having casual sex.  Are the reasons valid?  Are the reasons hurtful?  

        Learn to celebrate your sexuality, but use it when it is in you and your partnerís best interest.  Using your sexuality in a hurtful way causes emotional and physical pain.   

Tell your partner that using condoms is the only choice  A condom is to be put on before intercourse, because the liquid that is excreted before ejaculation is loaded with sperm, and can be loaded with virus, too.

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